


She Didn't Mean It

by charcolor



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, takes place during 2017 movie, there's hints of rarijack and flutterdash as per usual but i don't think it's worth tagging those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-25 23:30:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12543716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolor
Summary: Was Twilight Sparkle really better off without her? Had she been an insufferable burden to that wonderful girl this whole time?





	She Didn't Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> please watch the movie first bc 1) it's good 2) it's gay and 3) this fic will be VERY confusing if u dont

"It's all on me." Twilight turned and took a few steps away, turning her gaze at the gray sky. " _I'm_ the one Tempest wants.  _I'm_ the last princess."

Twilight was right. In the end, she was the only one being targeted. All the rest of them were doing was trying to help. And that's just what they did. Because of that, they were so close to getting help, but Twilight, so suddenly, betrayed them. The sight of her tangled up in the security tentacles was unbelievable. The realization that she'd used them so stealthily was too shocking for Pinkie to forgive. 

"You're  _also,_ " she snarled, "the only one who doesn't trust her  _friends!_ "

Twilight spun back to approach her with trembling rage. "Well  _maybe,_ I would've been better off without friends like--" The sparks of her anger lit up the tip of her horn. "-- _you!_ "

The sparks faded after a second, but they might as well had been shot in her heart. Pinkie had felt such a tight knot of frustration, and instead of having it be gently released, it burst. She tried to speak, but she couldn't think of any words. She could only manage a sharp, trembling inhale, as she was trapped in Twilight's purely enraged glare. 

She couldn't bear to look at Twilight anymore. Her gaze fell, and then she noticed Twilight's stature relax in the corner of her eye. She didn't say anymore. But Pinkie didn't dare look in her eyes again.

Pinkie didn't understand why Twilight would feel that way. For all this time, Twilight had been so kind and loving. She'd been so happy. And she'd always made sure to do everything in her power to make Pinkie happy too. How could that same pony be so resentful toward her right now? She didn't hear Twilight say anything else. She waited for a reason, for an explanation. How long had she felt this way? How long had Pinkie been such an oblivious burden? But after a moment she realized the answer wasn't going to come. There was no answer. What Twilight said wasn't true, was it?

But how could she be sure?

How often did Twilight feel like this? How often was Pinkie trying to help, only for Twilight to feel so annoyed and frustrated? Even if Twilight didn't mean what she'd just said, that didn't mean it wasn't true.

One thing was for certain, and that was that she couldn't handle being around Twilight right now. She had to leave, just for a moment, until she was stable enough to speak with her again. Part of her wanted to run, but she felt too heavy to do more than walk away from Twilight slowly.

"Pinkie..." When Twilight finally spoke again, her voice was much more softer and gentle. All her anger had melted away. It was obvious she was remorseful, but it was too late to stop Pinkie's thoughts, and it was too early for Pinkie to forget. "I..."

Pinkie glanced back so she could see just a glimpse of Twilight, but she didn't want to turn around. She couldn't be here. She finally managed to force out the words, "I just can't talk to you right now," before she went on along the shore until she was far enough away to avoid looking at Twilight.

She was right, wasn't she?

Earlier that day, when Twilight had rescued her after she'd fallen from the tightrope, she seemed annoyed. At the time, Pinkie didn't think much of it. She was just happy that they'd made it onto the airship. As a bonus, she got to be held by Twilight. But now that she knew how Twilight felt, she realized that was nothing but an inconvenience. Pinkie would probably had been abandoned if Twilight didn't have any moral obligation. Did Twilight really care about her at all? The only time she'd shown any sort of happiness with her was when she was using her to unknowingly distract the seaponies. And if Pinkie wasn't useful to her in any way, she really would be better off without her, wouldn't she?

Something rough and damp touched her shoulder, jolting her out of her thoughts. She glanced up into concerned green eyes gazing down at her. She'd been so deep in thought she forgot that she wasn't alone. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had all followed her to this clearing.

"You okay?" Applejack asked softly.

Pinkie's instinct was always to say she was fine, but from the way everypony was looking at her she couldn't get away with that kind of lie. Still, she couldn't bring herself to say anything else.

Seeing she wouldn't get an answer, Applejack spoke again. "It's okay if yer mad at Twilight."

Pinkie answered around the lump in her throat. "I'm not."

"You sure?" Rainbow Dash had Fluttershy wrapped in her wing, as she trembled violently. It looked like Fluttershy was crying, but they were a few feet away, and the crashing waves covered up the sound of Fluttershy's sobs. Rainbow Dash's voice, though, was as loud and clear as always. "I mean, you're the one who chewed her out."

"I didn't know she felt like she would have been better off without me."

The pause that followed was just a bit longer than it should have been, but Applejack broke it quickly. "Nopony feels like that, okay? We just gotta wait a while till she's simmered down."

A silence followed, filled only by the waves of the colorless sea. Pinkie didn't want to say anything. She could only think of Twilight. Was she still mad? Was she even where she was before?

"I want to see her," Pinkie blurted, staring at the ground. She suddenly wanted to apologize to Twilight. She missed how it felt to hug her. She missed her voice.

"Why?" Rainbow Dash asked. Her voice was dripping with irritation as she held Fluttershy. "She doesn't want us. She doesn't need us."

At this, Fluttershy pulled away from her. With shining tears lining her face, she spoke.

"What was that?" Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "She didn't mean it. I'm s-sure she couldn't have meant it. B-but..." She reached a shaking hoof toward Rainbow's, and in response was pulled under Rainbow's wing again. Her voice was lingering on the border of being an incoherent sob. "I--I just wish we didn't...have to be here...!"

Pinkie's attention was pulled away when Applejack nudged her again. This time Applejack smiled just a bit, but the worry in her eyes was still clear. "I think I know what ya mean."

"Huh?"

Applejack glanced over at Rarity, who'd been sitting in silence the whole time. She'd been busying herself by pulling all the leftover bits from the sea out of her mane as it slowly dried out to her usual violet ringlets. She stopped to look back up at Applejack, then glanced over at Pinkie before nodding to Applejack, smiling and returning to her business.

"I think you like Twilight."

At that, Pinkie giggled. After all this time spent feeling awful it felt good to have something happy in her again. "Well, duh. Of course I like Twilight. That's why we're friends."

Applejack shook her head and swallowed. "I-I mean, uh...how do I put this...do you, uh..." She cleared her throat. "Do you have a crush on her?" she asked quickly, looking away.

Pinkie never really thought about that before, but now that it had been brought up it really wasn't much to think about. It seemed like she did have a crush on Twilight, but it felt like she never needed to talk about or think about it. "I don't know," she answered. "I just want her to forgive me."

"Pinkie, you didn't do anything wrong. And Twilight ain't gonna be mad at you forever. I'll make sure of that. And, between you and me, I think she likes you a lot too."

"Then why would she hate me so much?"

"Nopony hates you, alright?" Applejack pulled Pinkie into a hug. "It'll all be fine. It always is."

"That's because Twilight always figures everything out."

"You think she would be able to do all that without you?" Applejack was smiling as she spoke. Pinkie had grown to recognize this even when she wasn't looking. "Listen, sugarcube. Twi really cares about ya. She cares about all of us. But I guess there's somethin' about you that keeps her determination goin'."

Pinkie pulled away to look back at Applejack. She knew she was telling the truth. It was Applejack, after all. But it was still a lot to think about. It was a little hard to believe Pinkie was that important at all.

Applejack nodded definitively and continued. "You're more optimistic than any of us, Pinkie Pie. Somepony like Twilight needs that kinda attitude in her world. She knows it too." Then she looked sad again, her eyebrows scrunching as her green gaze fell. "Just...not right now, I s'pose. Ya think she ought to by now..."

They looked at each other again for a second. Applejack nodded and gave a small, brief smile before heading over to the opposite side of the clearing. Her head hung, just enough so her drying hat would stay on her head. She was clearly still upset with Twilight. Pinkie wanted to comfort Applejack, or even to just run back where she came from and tell Twilight about all her feelings, about how she was ready to forgive her and that she loved her and wanted to do all she could to be an important part of her life.

But she just didn't have the heart for it yet. Maybe after a little while she would see Twilight again and embrace her. Even so, she didn't want to run off to her until everypony else was ready.

After all, Fluttershy was still whimpering. "This whole journey was such a mistake...all we wanted was somepony to help us."

She was apart from Rainbow Dash now, though only by a foot or so. As she let out her thoughts in a quiet murmur, Rainbow Dash dug her hoof in the ground, back and forth in irritation. Not with Fluttershy, of course. Probably with Twilight.

Applejack, though, sighed, seemingly coming out of her thoughts. "Ya think...maybe it's time we talk to Twilight?"

Before anypony could answer, a frantic voice rang through the air.

_"She's...been...taken!"_


End file.
